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[click "Play" to hear Dr. Paul Hokemeyer's conversation with Susan about sexting]

 

 

By Dr. Paul Hokemeyer 

Hokemeyer Dr.  Paul Hokemeyer is a nationally recognized expert on Eastern philosophies, relationships, and emotional healing. A Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, he holds a PhD in psychology, as well as a doctorate in the law. A part-time Telluride resident, Dr. Hokemeyer is based in the New York City office of the Caron Treatment Centers. He is also a weekly contributor to "The Dr. Oz Show," CNN’s "Headline News," and other media outlets, including "Good Morning America," "truTV," and "Oprah Radio." His new column, Shrink Rap, is scheduled to appear at least bi-monthy on Thursdays on Telluride Inside... and Out.


My mother frequently says she doesn’t know if she could have survived raising a teenage girl: with my bother and me, she only had to worry about two penises. With a girl, she’d have to worry about thousands. Now imagine my mother’s anxiety if her worry about her sons' sexual behavior were compounded by a technology she could barely comprehend. What if she had to worry about a new trend in teen flirting. What if she had to worry about sexting?

28 April, 2011 /

April 21 to 28, 2011
Visible Planets: Morning: Venus  Evening: Saturn

Mother, Father, sister, brother...

Mother&Child Families are funny things, and we all have them. And mothers. Even abandoned children have mothers - somewhere, somehow – on the planet, dead or alive – a woman carried a child in her womb and gave birth to new life. Just like the Mother Earth - from life to life, from dust to dust…

Springtime is the preeminent time of birth in the Northern Hemisphere, and the Christian holiday of Easter has been branded as the time of “resurrection.” It’s no mistake that Easter and springtime coincide. The pagan rites of spring were supplanted by the Catholic’s holy rituals of their savior’s crucifixion, entombment and miraculous return. For me, spring and Easter evoke memories of childhood, my Mother and my family. I am filled with the poignant emotions of joy and sorrow, hope and wonder in the recurring seasons, the eternal cycles of birth and death. The gentle wind, the greening grass and the ever-present natural phenomena of change stir something deep within - questions and quest, combined with a sense of acceptance, humility and grace.

22 April, 2011 /

April 14 to 21, 2011
Visible Planets: Morning: Venus   Evening: Saturn

"May God bless and keep you always, may your wishes all come true..."        Bob Dylan, Forever Young

RZ horse3 Spring has sprung and throughout the Northern Hemisphere we see the season emerging in shades of green. Budding trees, flowering bushes and melting snow respond to warmer days and increasing light. Solar rays are more direct. The Earth’s matrix of rocks, minerals, plants and animals awaken from winter’s slumber and burst forth in the evolutionary process of rebirth and renewal. Here in the West End, days of howling wind, spitting snow, slanting rain and embracing sun remind me that nothing is permanent, everything changes. Forever and always, revolutions around the Sun, returning seasons and revolving cycles – forever young, life here on Earth – as we see it, as we know it. Right here, right now, today...

This week, on April 17th @ 8:44 pm MDT, the Sun and Moon form the exact opposition aspect of a full "super" Moon in the late degrees of Aries/Libra. Three days later, the Sun moves into Taurus. The bridging time between Aries and Taurus is one that takes us from the primal fire of instinct and survival to the earth-centered land of primal nourishment and sustenance. The seed thrust forth in the fiery passion of Aries creation seeks fertile Taurus soil in which to take root, be nurtured and grow. Inherent in every seed is the map, the plan, the DNA of its potential. But without food, shelter and a safe place to develop and eventually blossom, the seed will never bear fruit.

14 April, 2011 /
[click "Play", Dr. Hokemeyer talks about Anxiety with Susan]

 

by Dr. Paul Hokemeyer

Dr. Paul Hokemeyer Dr. Hokemeyer is a nationally recognized expert on Eastern philosophies, relationships, and emotional healing. A Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, he holds a PhD in psychology, as well as a doctorate in the law. A part-time Telluride resident, Dr. Hokemeyer is based in the New York City office of the Caron Treatment Centers. He is also a weekly contributor to "The Dr. Oz Show," CNN’s "Headline News," and other media outlets, including "Good Morning America," "truTV," and "Oprah Radio." His new column, Shrink Rap, is scheduled to appear at least bi-monthy on Thursdays on Telluride Inside... and Out.


Recent events in Japan and the threat of a government shutdown serve to underline a fact of life: We live in difficult times, which can translate to scary. On a minute-by-minute basis, we are asked to find joy as we face growing threats of environmental, economic, and physical collapse. Some anxiety is a natural byproduct of these harsh facts of life, but when that anxiety persists and crosses a line, it morphs into a full-blown, paralyzing disorder. When that happens, what steps can we take to tame and contain an anxiety disorder?

13 April, 2011 /

April 7 to 15, 2011
Visible Planets: Morning: Venus  Evening: Saturn

The Primal Power of Aries: Season of the Emerging Self

Sneffles Springtime off-season has officially arrived in Telluride. The ski mountain has closed and blustery days of howling wind, spitting snow and sleeting rain now fall upon mostly empty streets. The local exodus to Mexican beaches and tropical islands is in full force. To the west, greening pastures embrace newborn calves and baby lambs; the mountains rise above in shades of snowy-white and deep, dark-blue. To the east, over the Dallas Divide in Ouray, daffodils, tulips and hyacinths greet visitors coming and going to the town’s Hot Springs Pool. The primal thrust of new life and rebirth is in the air; the warming earth, the melting snow and the restless weather herald the season of resurrection and renewal.

Ouray Pool1 The first week of the Aries lunar cycle delivers plenty of power in its punch, but due to the retrograde motion of mental messenger Mercury – also in Aries - the energy is somewhat redolent, and at times, even redundant. We find ourselves reviewing the past against the canvas of what was then and what is today, considering our actions and examining the consequences. And with realistic Saturn now moving in partner-oriented Libra, we seem to be most frequently reflecting upon ourselves in the image-rich mirror of our relationships. This is a poignant and powerful time to review and identify “our part” in our personal emotional reactions to and interactions with others. Are we feeling resentful, angry or hurt by another? If so, how did we assist in the creation of our own suffering?

08 April, 2011 /

March 31 to April 7, 2011
Visible Planets: Morning: Venus  Evening: Saturn

“From the alpha of Aries to the omega of Pisces, we spiral through space, passing through ever-new quadrants of the Universe. Each New Moon offers a special download of celestial information, illuminating new doorways and dimensions of consciousness…Aries is the first sign of the zodiac and the archetype of new frontiers.” 
                     Stephanie Austin, The Mountain Astrologer, Issue #156

Cheyenne-Indian-Chief The advent of the annual Aries New Moon takes place on April 3rd at 8:32 am MDT. As the first New Moon of the tropical year, this celestial event heralds the beginning of an eternally recurring physical and spiritual cycle. In the Northern Hemisphere, it’s a time of awakening and rebirth, when plants and animals are exposed to increasing light and more direct solar radiation. As days grow longer and the earth warms, we feel the power of Mother Nature and see her magic in the season’s fresh life and emerging shades of green. Buds pop out and the first flowers of spring appear. Baby lambs and calves dot lowland pastures while snow melts up in the high mountain peaks and meadows.

02 April, 2011 /

[click "Play" to hear Dr. Paul Hokemeyer continue on co-dependency]

 

 

By Dr. Paul Hokemeyer

Dr. Paul Hokemeyer Last week we talked about the signs and symptoms of co-dependency. This week I want to dig down a little deeper and explore how our interpersonal boundaries impact our emotional well-being. Without exception, people who suffer in co-dependent relationships have thin or non-existent boundaries with the person with whom they are in a co-dependent relationship (their qualifier).

Ernest Hartmann articulated the notion that our interpersonal boundaries are either thick or thin in his 1991 book Boundaries in the Mind. Hartmann noted that people typically fall into two types: Those who have thick boundaries are loners and have few intimate connections with other people. Those who have thin boundaries tend to fall in love and trust too easily.

25 March, 2011 /

March 24 to 31, 2011
Visible Planets: Morning: Venus and Saturn  Evening: Mercury

When Catastrophes Collide and Chaos Reigns...

Beach fire moon Okay, I surrender. Wild, electric Uranus has moved from the numinous, mutable waters of Pisces in to the primal, cardinal fire of Aries – joining magnanimous Jupiter there - and in so doing, ignited the planet. Everywhere I see explosions and conflagrations – from highly unseasonable wildfires along the Front Range of the Colorado Rockies to bombs blasting on the far-off shores of Tripoli. It’s all about the sudden, violent and unexpected upheavals and disruptions that rock the world and awaken us to new, revolutionary realities.  The function is to shock us out of our ruts and propel us in new, exciting, self-authentic, cosmically enlightened directions. But, heaven help us, does it have to be this radical?

Big fireball On March 11th - the day of the Uranus ingress – a 9.0 magnitude megathrust earthquake shook Japan and triggered a devastating tsunami, erasing villages and killing thousands. Days later, damaged nuclear reactors reached the point of meltdown and exploded, sending dangerous radioactive waves into the atmosphere. Now, with the Sun marching through the first week of Arien spring, days increasing in length and solar rays becoming more direct, we are feeling the power and angst of the zodiac’s first and most primitive sign. And, I have to admit, I’m feeling more than a little bit crazy. After all, I love a good bonfire, but waking up to three wars, people in peril and a worldwide economic crisis is unsettling to say the least. When catastrophes collide and chaos reigns, what’s a girl to do?

24 March, 2011 /

March 17 to 24, 2011
Visible Planets: Morning: Venus and Saturn  Evening: Mercury and Jupiter

Chaos, Crisis and the Challenge for Creative Change

Spring begins this year on March 20th @ 5:21 pm MDT, when the Earth reaches the zero point of Aries in its orbit around the Sun. Herald March Madness, Vernal Equinox and all manifestations of the natural year’s Primal Thrust. Good luck and may the courage of Mars and the miracle of rebirth be with you.

Wonder woman On Friday, March 11th @ 2:26 pm JST, a 9.0-magnitude megathrust earthquake off the coast of Japan shook the Earth with such force that it not only triggered an extremely destructive tsunami, with waves of up to 33 ft., which in some cases traveled up to 6 miles inland, but also shifted the Earth’s axis by approximately 6 ½ inches. An earthquake of similar magnitude in Chile last year moved the planetary axis by 3 inches. So what effects do these planetary changes have on those of us living on planet Earth?

Diana Roman, a geophysicist with the University of South Florida, said these changes mean the Earth's mass has been redistributed, causing the Earth to spin faster—and making days on Earth slightly shorter. The Japanese earthquake has also caused the Island of Japan to extend about eight feet eastward, and caused the ground to sink slightly more toward the center of the Earth.
    "This is like when a figure skater has her arms out, and she's going slowly as she's spinning. If she pulls her arms in, she'll speed up. The Earth has started spinning slightly faster, and that means the length of a day on Earth is about two-millionths of a second shorter," Roman explained. 

18 March, 2011 /

March 10 to 17, 2011
Visible Planets: Morning: Venus and Saturn  Evening: Mercury and Jupiter

Shining Seas, Surrender and Synthesis

Sparkling sea Red sunrise I’m back home in Colorado and my winter in Baja is now a memory. I see the shining seas and swaying palms, the Mexican rancho in the arroyo and my friend riding her horse in the soft sand along the beach. I can hear the breaking waves as I drift in and out of sleep, the stars are twinkling in the moonlight and a gentle breeze moves the shadows in ghostly rhythm with the night. But my body is here, not there.

MU Mtn Today, I feel grateful and blessed, a creature on this planet Earth, living and breathing, laughing and loving, crying with the pain of others and coping with my own. Tears are signs that I’m alive, that life has touched me, that I am moved by the world’s passions, obsessions and compulsions, that I can feel the ride and embrace the shifting tides of my time here, my time here on this magical planet Earth. The ups and downs, the starts and stops, the endings and beginnings - it’s all part of the journey, the Great Mystery of life and death. Whether I’m south of the border or high on a snowy mountain peak, I can feel the pulsating heart of the Mother Earth and her breath in the wind and air. I drink her water and feed upon her fruit. I can feel the love emanating from her soul and, to all this, I surrender.

10 March, 2011 /