With Xmas around the corner, in this installment of Shrink Rap, I want to explore the subject of overspending during the holidays. Hormones play a role. To be more specific, it is really about the hormone dopamine, our body's natural morphine, a substance our brain releases...
My spin on Internet Dating: a mixed blessing Over the last decade, we’ve seen an explosion in Internet dating sites. Today, rather than going into the world to find a romantic partner, we sit alone in front a computer and shop for the man or woman...
The pressure surrounding motherhood in the 21st Century is extraordinary. Everywhere we turn there’s an expert (yes, including me) telling mothers how to do it “right” and “better.” And while this wealth of information is incredibly valuable, it also sets an impossible standard for the person in charge: mothers. In addition, lofty standards mothers feed the cancer of destructive coping mechanisms, the most common of which is drug and alcohol abuse.
Although we’ve made great strides in the field of addiction by de-stigmatizing substance abuse, society continues to maintain stereotypes and myths regarding what an alcoholic/addict looks and acts like. High on that list is the perception that people who abuse substances live substandard lives. In my experience working as a marriage and family therapist with high functioning and successful families at the Caron Treatment Centers in Manhattan, I’ve found nothing could be further from the truth.
By Dr Paul Hokemeyer
Dr. Hokemeyer is a nationally recognized expert on Eastern philosophies, relationships, and emotional healing. A Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, he holds a PhD in psychology, as well as a doctorate in the law. A part-time Telluride resident, Dr. Hokemeyer is based in the New York City office of the Caron Treatment Centers. He is also a weekly contributor to "The Dr. Oz Show," CNN’s "Headline News," and other media outlets, including "Good Morning America," "truTV," and "Oprah Radio." His new column, Shrink Rap, is scheduled to appear at least bi-monthly on Thursdays on Telluride Inside... and Out.
Albert Einstein gave us what has become the pop definition of insanity: "Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." No place to point the finger but at yourself if you find yourself involved with the same type of person over and over again despite the fact these relationships always tank.
By Dr. Paul Hokemeyer
Dr. Hokemeyer is a nationally recognized expert on Eastern philosophies, relationships, and emotional healing. A Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, he holds a PhD in psychology, as well as a doctorate in the law. A part-time Telluride resident, Dr. Hokemeyer is based in the New York City office of the Caron Treatment Centers. He is also a weekly contributor to "The Dr. Oz Show," CNN’s "Headline News," and other media outlets, including "Good Morning America," "truTV," and "Oprah Radio." His new column, Shrink Rap, is scheduled to appear at least bi-monthly on Thursdays on Telluride Inside... and Out.
From the bra-burning days of the early feminists, what's really changed? Is life out from under a pile of laundry or flour all that women imagined it would be? Is being a 21st-century mom a whole lot better than life as Mrs. Cleaver? From my vantage point as a family therapist, maybe not so much
[click "Play", Dr. Paul Hokemeyer talks about parenting]
By Dr. Paul Hokemeyer
(Editor's note: After a pause to refresh, Telluride Inside... and Out's favorite shrink returns with his every other week column: Shrink Rap. Welcome back, Dr. Paul.)
In my psychotherapy practice I treat lots of adolescents and their parents. One of the changes I’ve observed over the past five years is how dismissive and disrespectful children have become. I attribute this increased lack of respect to the displacement of traditional, human manners with manners learned through the world of technology. Remember the computer from "2001: A Space Odyssey?" Assuming the answer is "yes," is HAL – or his digital spawn – raising your kids or are you?
By Dr. Paul Hokemeyer
Dr. Hokemeyer is a nationally recognized expert on Eastern philosophies, relationships, and emotional healing. A Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, he holds a PhD in psychology, as well as a doctorate in the law. A part-time Telluride resident, Dr. Hokemeyer is based in the New York City office of the Caron Treatment Centers. He is also a weekly contributor to "The Dr. Oz Show," CNN’s "Headline News," and other media outlets, including "Good Morning America," "truTV," and "Oprah Radio." His new column, Shrink Rap, is scheduled to appear at least bi-monthy on Thursdays on Telluride Inside... and Out.
Infidelity is back making international headlines and it's all over the blogosphere. For months, we had to endure the sordid details of Tiger Woods’ sex life. Then it was Sandra Bullock’s humiliations. Prior to those revelations, the buzz was about all the married politicians stepping out. Now it's The Arnold and Dominique Strauss-Kahn, the disgraced head of the International Monetary Fund.
[click "Play", Dr. Paul Hokemeyer talks with Susan about meanness on TV]
By Dr. Paul Hokemeyer
Dr. Hokemeyer is a nationally recognized expert on Eastern philosophies, relationships, and emotional healing. A Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, he holds a PhD in psychology, as well as a doctorate in the law. A part-time Telluride resident, Dr. Hokemeyer is based in the New York City office of the Caron Treatment Centers. He is also a weekly contributor to "The Dr. Oz Show," CNN’s "Headline News," and other media outlets, including "Good Morning America," "truTV," and "Oprah Radio." His new column, Shrink Rap, is scheduled to appear at least bi-monthy on Thursdays on Telluride Inside... and Out.
If I see one more angry, surgically altered middle-aged woman screaming at another angry, surgically altered middle-aged woman, I am going to throw my television in to the Hudson River. Isn't there enough meanness, narcissism and in the world as it is. Why glamorize such hollow values?
[click "Play" to hear Dr. Paul Hokemeyer's conversation with Susan about sexting]
By Dr. Paul Hokemeyer
Dr. Paul Hokemeyer is a nationally recognized expert on Eastern philosophies, relationships, and emotional healing. A Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, he holds a PhD in psychology, as well as a doctorate in the law. A part-time Telluride resident, Dr. Hokemeyer is based in the New York City office of the Caron Treatment Centers. He is also a weekly contributor to "The Dr. Oz Show," CNN’s "Headline News," and other media outlets, including "Good Morning America," "truTV," and "Oprah Radio." His new column, Shrink Rap, is scheduled to appear at least bi-monthy on Thursdays on Telluride Inside... and Out.
My mother frequently says she doesn’t know if she could have survived raising a teenage girl: with my bother and me, she only had to worry about two penises. With a girl, she’d have to worry about thousands. Now imagine my mother’s anxiety if her worry about her sons' sexual behavior were compounded by a technology she could barely comprehend. What if she had to worry about a new trend in teen flirting. What if she had to worry about sexting?
by Dr. Paul Hokemeyer
Dr. Hokemeyer is a nationally recognized expert on Eastern philosophies, relationships, and emotional healing. A Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, he holds a PhD in psychology, as well as a doctorate in the law. A part-time Telluride resident, Dr. Hokemeyer is based in the New York City office of the Caron Treatment Centers. He is also a weekly contributor to "The Dr. Oz Show," CNN’s "Headline News," and other media outlets, including "Good Morning America," "truTV," and "Oprah Radio." His new column, Shrink Rap, is scheduled to appear at least bi-monthy on Thursdays on Telluride Inside... and Out.
Recent events in Japan and the threat of a government shutdown serve to underline a fact of life: We live in difficult times, which can translate to scary. On a minute-by-minute basis, we are asked to find joy as we face growing threats of environmental, economic, and physical collapse. Some anxiety is a natural byproduct of these harsh facts of life, but when that anxiety persists and crosses a line, it morphs into a full-blown, paralyzing disorder. When that happens, what steps can we take to tame and contain an anxiety disorder?
