Shrink Rap: Repetition compulsion

24 Aug Shrink Rap: Repetition compulsion

[click “Play” to hear Dr. Hokemeyer’s conversation with Susan]

By Dr Paul Hokemeyer

Dr. Hokemeyer is a nationally recognized expert on Eastern philosophies, relationships, and emotional healing. A Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, he holds a PhD in psychology, as well as a doctorate in the law. A part-time Telluride resident, Dr. Hokemeyer is based in the New York City office of the Caron Treatment Centers. He is also a weekly contributor to “The Dr. Oz Show,” CNN’s “Headline News,” and other media outlets, including “Good Morning America,” “truTV,” and “Oprah Radio.” His new column, Shrink Rap, is scheduled to appear at least bi-monthly on Thursdays on Telluride Inside… and Out.

Albert Einstein gave us what has become the pop definition of insanity: “Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” No place to point the finger but at yourself if you find yourself involved with the same type of person over and over again despite the fact these relationships always tank.

No you are not really and truly crazy. But repetition compulsion is a phenomenon that keeps millions of therapists like myself fully employed.

The way to break this or any pattern that does not serve you is to engage in the following four steps:
• Recognize there’s a pattern
• Trace the pattern back to its root, typically found in our relationships with one or both of our parents.
• Create space between the old pattern and our reaction to similar stimulus.
• In the space that’s been created, find a new way of being.

Easy right?

Like I said, this stuff is what keeps millions of us shrinks in business.

Want to know more about repetition compulsion and how to get unstuck? Click the “play” button and listen to my conversation with Susan Viebrock.