Dr. Paul Hokemeyer


Editor’s Note: Dr. Hokemeyer is a nationally recognized expert on Eastern philosophies, relationships, and emotional healing. He is also a part-time Telluride local. His column, Shrink Rap, appears regularly on Telluride Inside… and Out. (For more on his background, go to Our Writers.) This article on the beauty of women of a certain age first appeared on Dr. Oz’s blogsite – Dr. Paul is regular contributor to the Dr. Oz Show” –  and elicited a flood of response, some agreeing, some disagreeing with Paul’s perspective. What he suggests is a best case scenario, but is he being realistic? We decided on an interview which we recorded live to dig deeper.

One night the most beautiful woman sat next to me at my weekly meditation meeting. Usually, these situations don’t rattle me, but this particular woman captivated me with her natural splendor. Barefoot, grey hair pulled back into a ponytail, face fresh and seasoned by time, she didn’t hide behind make-up or contort her features with surgical procedures. She owned the room not by screaming, “Look at me!” but by gently whispering, “I’m comfortable in my skin and in the world around me.”

In contrast to the collagen-lipped, eyelash-heavy women who refuse to mature with grace, this woman exuded a natural beauty. She didn’t strive to conform herself to someone else’s feminine ideal nor was she trapped in a time that didn’t suit her. At well over 50, she knew who she was and radiated a loving confidence to those of us around her.

Too often, women run from who they are destined to become because of a fear of becoming irrelevant or invisible. In this fearful state, they paint, inject and cover up the authentic parts of themselves that make them authentically beautiful. It’s a trap that’s easy to fall into and one that consists of unrealistic and unhealthy ideals of feminine beauty.

Middle age is not about being invisible and obsolete. It’s about editing out the distractions that prevent women from being who they’ve worked hard to become. A beautiful middle-aged woman doesn’t need Angelina’s lips, Kim’s eyelashes or Paris’ waistline to define her. Her beauty is not painted on. It radiates from within.
Women are extraordinary beautiful at each and every age of their existence. Their looks do not fade. They evolve into a deeper expression of the love in their hearts and the richness in their souls.

To learn more, click the “play” button and listen to what more Dr. Paul has to say.

1 Comment
  • michele
    Posted at 08:12h, 06 April

    love love love this paul!