13 Jun Poets’ Corner: Feela for Father’s Day!
The first public Father’s Day event was held in 1908 in West Virginia to honor 362 miners who died in an explosion there. It was later made a national holiday by President Richard Nixon in 1972. The most popular gift is a necktie…
Unless, of course, you are David Feela.
Feela’s tribute to his dad reminds us how we love them, regardless of their idiosyncrasies. Or in this case, because of them. So before you buy one more tie or razor or whatever that no dad really needs – perhaps consider the gift of David’s always quirky (as in laugh out loud) words, as below.
David Feela
The Fashion of Older Men
“May I help you find something?”
“I’m looking for a pair of pants for my father-in-law.”
“Follow me and I’ll show you our popular Fits-Like-a-
Glove style.”
“No, he hates pants that are too tight.”
“How about our Ifs, Ends, and Butts designer slacks?”
“Are they comfortable?”
“Not terribly, but that’s not why our customers buy them.”
“So why do they buy them?”
“For the little beeper that goes off when they back up.”
“No, that doesn’t sound right for him.”
“We have a sale on our Get-Crackin’ blue jeans.”
“He has enough trouble without his pants announcing it.”
“How about Baggy-Saggies?”
“Actually, he wears suspenders.”
“You must be shopping for someone more traditional.”
“Do you carry anything with a relaxed fit?”
“I don’t like to show them, but we do carry a line called
The Retired-Fit.”
“What are they like?”
“Basically, just a pair of sweatpants with a drawstring.”
“Do they come in large sizes?”
“Sorry, only one-size-fits-all, but we’ve had up to four
clerks in a single pair.”
“They must be comfortable.”
“Only the woman complained.”
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