Poets’ Corner: Feela on Black Friday, Sort Of

Poets’ Corner: Feela on Black Friday, Sort Of

Thanksgiving is over. Thank goodness. You made it through the family gathering unscathed. There was plenty for the vegan in the mix. Not one relative was transitioning. No one left the table in a huff. No one cried. That’s the good news. The bad news – at least if you tend to channel your inner Scrooge this time of year – guaranteed to turn your mood black. Tomorrow starts the holiday shopping binge. Time to start shedding a few pounds from your wallet (along with a few pounds from overindulgence). It’s Black Friday, a term coined in the 1960s.“Black” referred to stores’ bottom lines moving from the “red” to the “black” back when accounting records were kept by hand, and red ink indicated a loss; black a profit. Before you head out the door (or start browsing for online deals), however, to put you in a better mood, check out this quirky poem from Telluride Inside… and Out regular contributor David Feela, a Colorado poet who resides in Arriola, Colorado, a small rural community north of Cortez. David’s words have appeared in hundreds of regional and national publications. Typically they are funny, as below:


Black Friday



“Hello, I’d like to report a theft.”
“Go ahead, what was stolen.”
“My trash.”
“Someone took your garbage can?”
“No, just the trash inside it.”
“Did your trash contain anything valuable?”
“Not really, it stunk.”
“Where was your trash when it was taken.”
“Out by the curb.”
“Did the sanitation workers pick it up?”
“What day is this?”
“Well, I’ll be!”
“What day do they usually pick up your garbage?”
“On Fridays.”
“Then I doubt your trash was stolen.”
“I thought it was Thursday.”
“No, it’s Friday.”
“Thanks for clearing that up.”
“You’re welcome. Is there anything else?”
“Something else disappeared.”
“Go ahead, what was stolen?”

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