What Makes Great Friends Great?

As we get older, it can seem more difficult to really, deeply connect with others and create lasting friendship.

Maybe when you were younger, friendship was more about quantity over quality. Having lots of friends made you feel like part of the “in” crowd. That you were liked, and therefore good enough.

I didn’t shed this phase until my mid-20s. Even out of college, I thought that the more people I surrounded myself with, the more groups I was a part of and the more parties I went to, the better it meant my life was going. This was both fun and extremely exhausting.

I had moved far from my hometown and most of my best friends had, too. I prided myself in being able to get along with many different types of people, and still do.

But secretly, I craved closer friendships.

I was envious of my roommate at the time that had all of her closest girlfriends from childhood around her. They did everything as a group and seemed safe in their cocoon of togetherness.

Now, I realize that quality of friendship is more important than quantity. It made me ask myself, what are the qualities of outstanding friendship? And how do you know if you’re an outstanding friend to others?

If this has been lacking in your life… well hey… it’s never too late to start.

1. They’re there for you when you need them most.

Ask yourself, how many people could you call up at 3:00 a.m. in the case of an emergency? Probably just a few, if you’re lucky. Outstanding friends are there for you when you need them most. One of my best friends from college dug her car out of a blizzard to come pick me up when I couldn’t get home. Others made the trip halfway across the globe to a tiny remote island in Greece for my wedding. Above is a photo one of my closest girlfriends took who threw me a surprise bachelorette “wig party.” So fun! Another friend came over with wine, chocolate and movies after I had a miscarriage.

While I am incredibly blessed and grateful to have friends like that in my life, it got me thinking, am I that kind of friend? I think so, but I know I could improve. Striving to be an outstanding friend will bring more of those connections into your own life.

2. Because a great friend genuinely cares about you, they know when and how to be honest…

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