Shrink Rap: It’s Valentine’s Day. Make Love – To Yourself
Valentine’s Day is drawing near. If we’re in a romantic relationship, the thought of the day is cause for happiness. If we are solo, however, the approaching holiday can make us feel lonely and sad. The truth of the matter is this: when we believe happiness is attached to something or someone outside ourselves, we are setting ourselves up for a big downer. This year, avoid the set-up. Make love to yourself.
As a psychotherapist who helps free people from unhealthy relationships, substances, and behaviors, I see how frequently emotional and physical pain are caused by an attachment to any number of delusions. We think of a shot of vodka or piece of chocolate cake, for example, as sources of comfort. And while alcohol and sugar can make us feel great in the moment, the feeling is fleeting: in the long run, substances like these diminish our capacity to lovingly connect to our minds and bodies. They distract from a meaningful spiritual existence.