Booksigning at Telluride’s Between the Covers bookstore 1/30

In our society, the distance between first and second place is measured in terms of yards, not inches. It is the difference between winning and losing, gold and silver. We might remember who came in second in the World Series or Superbowl, but first place rains confetti and grabs headlines. Ditto in a family.

First-born children are known for being perfectionists, but many second-born kids are perfectionists too. Being “perfect” is one way to compete with a dominant sibling, because unlike their more powerful brother or sister, a second child must fight for everything a first child takes for granted: time and attention, recognition as a unique individual, fair and equal treatment, and ownership of space, toys, and achievements.

Safford was a second child in a family of five children. “Second place is second place, not first and never will be,” she writes in the introduction to “Don’t Sell Your Soul.” “Second place became the set-up and the stage on which began my drive for approval. Unconsciously following the stick with the never-to-be reached carrot, the drive for perfection was pursued, and this child did not know it was unreachable and unreasonable.”

Cataloging her collection of crutches, her “gurus” or false sanctuaries – church, marriage, food – “Don’t Sell Your Soul” chronicles Safford’s journey inward from unrealistic expectations to conscious awakening at age 63.

“Interesting life story of a woman who has to learn some hard lessons because she keeps looking outside herself for the answers. When she discovers a system called Human Design, she finally realizes that her ultimate authority is within herself… that she can be her own guru and stop being conditioned and manipulated by other people,” exclaimed one review on Amazon.

Another read: “This book is a great quick read! ‘Don’t Sell Your Soul’ is a deeply honest and inspiring story. Judy’s poignant retelling of her own life journey opened the door for me look back with gratitude and forgiveness for the life experiences and relationships that brought me to where I am today. I cringed. I cried. I wanted to jump in and rescue her. No one ever guaranteed that life would be easy. In the end, her courage to tell it all inspired me.”

To learn more, click the “play” button and listen to Safford tell it like it was in her podcast.